pandora's box is now open

the other day anne was kind enough to stop by my room and offer me a half of a delicious delicious tarte aux fraises (strawberry tart). in retrospect, i don't know if it was kindness or an effort on her part to not eat the whole tarte...what do you have to say for yourself anne? well, when i had a taste, it was all over...as i went in for a fresh baguette at the boulangerie on my way home, i just could not resist buying one myself today. whoops.

i returned the favor, though i was seriously tempted to
eat the whole thing myself.

all i have to say is bring on the winter poundage. my staple diet here is baguettes, cheese, butter, this fatty yogurt (le petit suisse...trust me, this is no nonfat yoplait. this is the real deal.) and nutella...with some fruits and veggies sprinkled in of course. but the staple is carbs, fat and sugar. this is bad news for my waistline. crapola.

baguettes

i make a daily trip to the closest bakery (a boulangerie). that's right, daily. every time, i longingly look at the pasties, desserts and delicious tarts but i settle for a baguette and carry it under my arm back to my apartment. you gotta carry it under your arm. they deport you if you don't. seriously.

typically, the exchange in the boulagerie goes something like this:

lady: 'bonjour'
me: 'bonjour. un baguette s'il vous plait.'
lady: 'une baguette, 85 centimes'
me: 'voilà. 85 centimes. merci!'
lady: 'merci. bonne journée!'
me: 'bonne journée!'

as i noticed for the umpteenth time that the lady emphasized the feminine une baguette, i began to wonder...do i have that wrong? is it a feminine article? have i been saying it wrong for a month and a half? on my walk back it dawned on me...baguette does have that -ette ending typical for feminine words. damn it. upon returning home, baguette dutifully under my arm, i checked and yes...i've been in france for a month and a half, and saying un baguette instead of une baguette. how embarassing.

ps- i will always struggle with this. damn it.

bosnia

since i've been here, i feel like my bosnian heritage has dominated so many of my conversations. i find myself answering the same questions over and over again. this is nothing new cause i've been having the same conversation all my life. i'm very proud of my heritage but sometimes i feel so stuck in the past, being defined by where i come from rather than who i am. this is only exaggerated in france where i am definitely an outsider.

although, there has been an interesting twist recently. in france, there are many maghrèb immigrants. the magrèb region is identified as algeria, morocco and tunisia and is typically muslim. the moment i am identified as bosnian, the next question is: so are you muslim? maybe it's just me but it always seems to be on a secretive/hush-hush note. no french person has asked me this, not unlike how it is in america. people are afraid/embarassed to ask because of the many islamic stereotypes floating around due to america's deep involvement with the middle east. but if it is a person with magrèb heritage, there is no hesitation.

when i do identify that i am muslim, there is always
a welcome to the club kind of surprise.

i don't think it's a stretch to say that it's because france has been somewhat unwelcoming to its maghrèb populations in recent history. to be maghrèbain (and therefore likely muslim) is not favorable in france. coming here i knew that france was racist* - complicated politics - but it's interesting to experience it on a more personal level. not that i'm really feeling discriminated against by any means, that's not what i'm getting at, but to even be linked with it...it just makes you think. it makes me wonder how much more exaggerated it is in more metropolitan areas.

i guess the truth of the matter is that where i come from and who i am aren't mutually exclusive. the past defines you. of course. the key is to grow beyond that. i'm not sure i've been doing that lately, and not just with my bosnian heritage.

*EDIT*

re-reading this post i have realized i have made one of those sweeping statements that i have always cringed at myself: 'france is racist'. this isn't true. just like nicolas said (read comments), if someone were to say that 'america is racist' it just wouldn't be true. there are racist americans and there are racist french.

what i meant to say was that there is an underlying problem in france concerning racism against the algerian/maghrèb population.

either way, i think i need to elaborate...

the politics in france in regards to the influx of maghrèbain immigration are incredibly complicated and it is something that i have studied in many of my french classes as well as researched for my french thesis. in a nutshell, france had colonized parts of northern africa (notably in algeria) and established french speaking regions and therefore new 'ethnic' french cultures. post WWII and up to the 80s there was a massive influx of immigration, people who came to work during the reconstruction period. at the same time, the birth rate in france significantly dropped and many people realized that the ethnic demographic of france was rapidly and unexpectantly changing. as a result, the french government tried to curb the rate of emmigration from algeria (ex: giving preference to european immigrants) and also isolated the very large algerian population in france from french society, making it difficult for normal social-exchange and therefore integration. this was all in an effort to preserve french culture and also continue a french presence in algeria (which eventually declared its independence).

this kind of alienation can only breed mistrust and misunderstanding. while racism is present in france, it is certainly not worth a comment like 'france is racist' so i apologize for sweeping over such a complicated issue. however, there are still many controvertial politics today that have been perceived as racist. for example, banning religious artifacts in public schools. when is the line crossed between preserving french culture and encroaching into questionable politics? it is an incredibly delicate and complicated issue. one which i am certainly not qualified nor equiped to answer.

if anyone has questions or would like to discuss anything in more detail please feel free to contact me.

teaching update

with the toussaint holiday and now armistice day (Tue Nov. 11), i haven't been doing a lot of teaching. in three weeks i will have taught one day. that one day was the first day back from vacation: thursday. since the french have a set number of days they need to have school, they come back from vacation on thursday which i thought was weird. why not just get the whole week off instead of come back for thursday and friday?

so, the kiddies were not that enthused about being in school and neither was i. they definitely picked up on it. lesson learned! in one of my afternoon classes, while i was trying to get three students who don't usually like to participate up at the board, i had my back turned. as i was doing my usual embarassing routine of miming and putting my hands up by my ear...then out of the corner of my eye i notice some movement...as i turn around the picture becomes increasingly clear.

there was a little boy standing behind me, mimicking every move i made!

incredible!! as all the students started laughing the teacher noticed what was going on from the back and immediately sent him to the hall. that little jerk. you should've seen the look on his face. let me tell you...

the day you get made fun of by a 9 year old, you know your life has changed.

although, he was so cute peering into the classroom on his hands and knees as i did the goodbye song at the end of the class and doing the movements. hopefully he won't be doing that again, otherwise no singing for him. the song/chant goes something like this:

goodbye everyone! (toes)
goodbye everyone! (knees)
goodbye everyone! (shoulders)
goodbye everyone! (head)

goodbye everyone! (wave in the air)
see you very soon! (head, shoulders, knees, toes)

they stand up and chant goodbye everyone (after each one going up a note, starting at middle C) as they touch the floor, their knees, their shoulders, their head and then wave in the air at the last goodbye everyone. then quickly go down head (see). shoulders(you), knees(very) and toes(soon).

i try to do a hello everyone, how are you today at the start of class and the goodbye one at the end each time. gets them moving and they love it. i can't remember who it was that poached this song from but thank you! that assistantsinfrance.com forum is excellent for sharing resources.

the kids seem to love singing so i'm trying to take advantage of it as much as i can. they always beg to sing. it's great leverage to get them to work faster...which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't :) i really want to bring my guitar in more so i can play the songs with the guitar instead of CD recordings but i need a backpack guitar case. my hard-shell one is way too heavy to haul around from school to school all day long. it's just not worth it. but to do this, i need a debit card for my french bank account. most websites here don't take american credit cards and since the only music store closed in laon last year, i'm forced to cross my fingers and go the online route.

Valen-ths-ia, España...el frío polar!

for the Toussaint holiday (aka All Saints Day) i decided to go to Valencia, Spain with anne and stephanie, two other assistants in laon. it was a little last minute and so my flight was more expensive than i would've hoped but you live and you learn so i'm planning my next holiday much sooner. i blame this on my parents who got my hopes up by telling me that they would come to paris for my vacation and then backed out. i will never forgive them for that gigantic tease.

so, i flew to valencia with stephanie (anne doesn't like flying as much so she decided to take the train) via ryan air which was an experience. and yes, those are the obnoxious colors that marr the interior of the plane. since i am a chronic overpacker and i didn't want to check any bags (last time i did that i was without clothes for nearly a week), this presented a slight conundrum cause ryan air only allows one carry-on bag (purses included) that is only 10kg (or 22 lbs). this is not very much and they also have a ridiculous size restriction - european carry-on suitcases are comically tiny. now, ryan air also prides itself on being the most on-time airline in europe and when you land they actually play a little trumpet fare to signal on-time arrival. their on-time slogan isn't really accurate however since they're actually mostly early. sneaky sneaky. they totally over-estimate the time it takes to get to the destination. no wonder they're always on time.

either way, we all got in on monday two weeks ago and stayed until the following monday. a nice week-long vacation en espagne. we were also lucky enough to have a place to stay! a friend of stephanie's (sunny) is doing a semester abroad and has a 4 bedroom apartment all to herself since all the other girls wanted to do home-stays. so we each got our own room! how incredible is that?? sunny, you are the best! she showed us around and was an incredibly gracious host.

the first day we mostly walked around and sampled some valencian cuisine. on the right is the three french musketeers (anne is on the left and stephanie is on the right) tasting the valencian specialty: paella! this a a rice dish that is traditionally only eaten during lunch-time. the rice is stir-fried/baked (i'm not sure which, possibly both) with local vegetables and spices. you can have seafood paella, paella valenciana (chicken and rabbit), lobster...the list goes on. it was delicious! lunch is supposed to be the largest meal of the day, eaten sometime during the siesta hours (2-5 pm, when everything is closed). dinner is really late at 9:30/10:00 and is usually some form of tapas...lots of fried goodness. there was this particular dish of fried cheese with strawberry marmalade that i will be dreaming about for years to come. spanish cuisine passes my test :)















plaza de la reina: this is one of the main square. on the top left is one of the churches in valencia - looks a little less obtrusive than the huge cathedrals in france. on the top right is an...intersting fountain where the pigeons like to flock. my favorite is the solitary and ever-present pigeon on top of the head. and on the right is the night view from the highest point in the city.

one of the coolest things i found in valencia is the enormous number of parks. in fact, there used to be a river that ran through the city but in the 50s they drained it, in order to avoid flooding, and turned it into a 4+ km park! i thought it was pretty cool. in our wandering of the many parks i managed to take some fun pictures that are probably some of my faves. in addition there were many stray cats which i always enjoy photographing.

during the next few days we explored the city some more, going to the Biopark and the Oceanografie and the City of Arts and Sciences. the Biopark was the coolest zoo i've been to. the idea is that it's more of a free range zoo where you could either get really close to the animals or they were literally running in front of you like the lemurs. i even managed to pet one, illegally of course. the Oceanografie is a big aquarium with the typical marine animals you might find in any aquarium, basically it wasn't as cool as the Biopark. it's also right next to the City of Arts and Sciences which was pretty sweet. it's a collection of museums with some cool modern architecture - an effort by valencia to blend the old with the new.

these are the highlights

gangsta giraffe and gorilla. i really like the juxtaposition of my reflection here.


one of the best pictures i took is this beluga whale watching the people watching him. what an interesting role reversal. makes you wonder who's really watching whom.

the city of arts and sciences. futuristic and very alien looking :)

the next few days of the trip we decided to go see a futbol game in spain which was bound to be exciting. and it was. exciting and rainy. actually, we almost missed the game. we had originally thought that the game was on sunday so we decided to buy the tickets on saturday to make sure they didn't sell out and avoid the long lines. that saturday as we were having a relaxing night in, after a number of late nights...the spanish are crazy - after sleeping during the siesta hours, they have all kinds of energy to party into the wee hours of the morning. so, we made dinner and were watching some futbol replays on tv...or so we thought. as the second game came on we noticed that the teams playing were the exact same teams that were supposed to be playing tomorrow. the thing is, there was no date or time on the tickets we bought. so, after some discussion on whether it was a replay or not (also gauging how heavy the rain was falling), stephanie and i decided to check it out by taking a look outside. the triple parked cars and cheers of the crowd were pretty obvious. we were watching the game on tv. oh mon dieu. we ran back in to get anne, umbrellas and some plastic bags...have i mentioned that it was raining? hard? we managed to get there just before half-time! phew. even though it was pouring, the fans still showed up, with umbrellas and parkas :) this was also when i found out that my umbrella doesn't really perform it's key function very well: it's a leaky umbrella. wtf. needless to say, i got pretty soaked during this game and valencia lost 4-2, kicking the last two goals in themselves. whoops!

since i was on vacation i was of the mindset that i would be sun-bathing on the beaches of valencia and so packed all wrong. i brought a couple skirts, tank-tops, flip-flops, no socks, a swimsuit and only one pair of pants!! that was stupid. after the futbol game, i was forced to get creative so i could wear dry pants the next day. there are no dryers in europe and jeans aren't air drying overnight. so, i used a blowdryer for a while and presto! dry jeans.

the last day in valencia we finally got to the beach since it turned out to be a pretty nice day. well, at least it wasn't raining ;) i imagine during the warmer months i could've made good use of that swimsuit...

one of the most interesting discoveries during this vacation is that i've become spoiled. in france i can communicate! in spain...not so much. it was so strange to feel so helpless and not speak the language. in addition, not many spaniards speak that much english. sunny was great in helping us out, without her there would have been even more hand gestures and miming than there already were :) either way, i'm looking forward to returning to spain in february, especially to travel with jonathan again. we're going made a tour of some key cities like madrid, barcelona, sevilla and potentially check out lisbon as well. i can't wait, it's going to be absolutely amazing! not to mention the food. yum yum. have i mentioned the paella?

here's another shot for posterity's sake...

this time being more metally prepared for spanish. also, if you ever find yourself in spain it's grathias not gracias. thinco not cinco. valenthia not valencia. why they gotta make it complicated?

if you're interested in seeing some more pictures of valencia go to the facebook albums here and here.

proud to be american

i feel like an american today. this identity is something that i've struggled with in the past because of my bosnian heritage and i don't doubt that i will always feel both bosnian and american: they are not exclusive. but today, i miss home a lot. i've been watching msnbc.com election converage and other news and being here in france has made me realize just how amercain i truly feel and i will always feel a little sad that i missed spending nov. 4th 2008 with friends and family.

though i stayed awake until 3 am, i eventually fell asleep listening to msnbc.com live coverage of the election. i woke up this morning to the wonderful discovery of a new president elect:

Barack Hussein Obama

though it was a pain to send in that absentee ballot, i am so proud to have voted this year. after watching two disappointing elections in 2000 and 2004, i could not have imagined a more momentous and happy election in 2008. we have a new president, a new direction and the first black president in the history of the united states. wow. this is the american dream and i can't help but to identify with so much of what barack obama represents and stands for: achieving greatness through so much diversity.

here's to the next 4 great but trying years